PODCAST: Real Love Story with Caroline Atkinson

So excited to share this podcast with you - a real love story with a friend of mine, Caroline Atkinson, whose love story with Gus spans almost 10 years.

We talk about relationship challenges, the incredible lessons learnt from spending 6 years apart, the importance of taking responsibility for your own happiness and the absolute joy of brunching on your own.

I remember attending a talk with Alain de Botton and he made reference to the fact that novels and films (in particular, fairy tales and rom coms) often don't give us a correct map of love and 'leave us unprepared to deal adequately with the difficulties of being in a couple'. And so we grow up with slightly unrealistic notions of love and what it means to be in a relationship. Hearing Caroline share her story really helped me to understand this more deeply and how we can update our 'map of love' to be more in-line with the realities of relating in today's world. 

I was so inspired by Caroline's journey of self discovery and self love and how she and Gus were able to start a new chapter in their relationship and the strength and vulnerability that requires, on both parts. I hope you enjoy this as much as I loved recording it.

V xxx

PODCAST SHOW | If you think finding love is all down to fate...then think again

This week we've opened up the juicy topic of fate. Is finding a loving partner really all down to fate?

We don't think so.

In fact we reckon that if you're putting your love-life in the hands of fate, then that could be the very reason why you're not finding it.

So in this week's podcast we decided to put fate into the hot seat, challenge the very notion of love as being something that is magically bestowed upon us...or not...by the mysterious hand of fate and instead show you what you can do to take your love-life out of the hands of fate and back into your own hands.

Or as Vicki put it 'grab your love-life by the balls'.

So hit play and listen in, or download from Soundcloud and let us know what YOU think. Is finding love down to fate or not?

x Selina & Vicki

How to unleash your inner goddess to experience more freedom in your love life

This week, we're joined by Helen Johnson from Goddess Acumen, who gives us an insight into how we can unleash our inner goddess to experience more freedom in our love lives. And she's offering Project Lovers a special discount of 25% off her Goddess Discovery Sessions (just mention us when you book)

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When you imagine finding a partner, do you really know what you’re looking for? Do you sometimes feel stuck or frustrated by not having your needs met or by not even knowing what they are in the first place?! Goddess Acumen aims to help women to connect with different aspects of their femininity in order to find more clarity, balance, and focus.

Goddess Acumen is all about understanding, exploring and balancing the different aspects of our femininity through the mythology of six Greek Goddesses. Each of these Goddess energies resides within us and combines in a way that is unique to the individual. By helping each aspect to thrive, we thrive ourselves.

Each Goddess has a different style of loving, different desires, and a different way of relating to her man. So if our Goddess energies aren’t fixed then this means that the way we relate to men may also shift and change… (I’m pretty sure no one will be shocked by that idea!). The question is, which Goddess is ruling your love life right now and what does she need?

If you don’t know which Goddess is strongest in you, head here and take the quiz or meet the goddesses below and see which one speaks to your heart…

Athena

Are you looking for a meeting of minds? Someone who can match you and tackle the world head on - a comrade in arms? Someone who respects your independence and helps you to succeed in the world of work? Well, this is the Athena in you – the Goddess concerned with career, social progress, and the intellect. In her men, an Athena woman will seek out someone who can stimulate her mind, sometimes at the neglect of (ahem) stimulating her body. Finding balance will mean letting in some romance and sensuality… but never at the expense of a beautiful mind.

Aphrodite

Do you like to bring out both the macho and softer side of your man in equal measure? Do you lead with your heart? Do you thrive on the emotion and sensuality of relationships? Well helloooo Aphrodite - goddess of love, beauty, sexuality and pleasure. Your sensuality is intoxicating but your willingness to give away your heart can lead to pain when your lover backs away from building something more lasting. Finding balance for Aphrodite means to embrace the aspects of life that are less about seeking pleasure and more about constructing a solid partnership (Aphrodites out there probably want to yawn right about now!).

Demeter

Do you really look after and nurture the people you love? Deep down, are you looking for a provider? Is home and family where you truly feel at peace? This is the Demeter in you, the earth mother and nurturer. You make a great partner because you are so good at looking after people and making them feel your love. However, sometimes you can be more like a mother than a partner, or focus too much on your home and family at the expense of other aspects of life. Finding balance for Demeter means to allow yourself to step out of this caring role and embrace aspects of true partnership with your chosen man – cultivate a friendship and a sense of adventure outside of the home.

Artemis

Do you sometimes prefer solitude? Would you rather be traipsing through the wilderness with your man than getting to know his heart and mind? Do you want someone who matches your sense of independence and freedom? If you’re feeling the call of the wild, this is Artemis - the lone huntress, at one with nature, and sometimes disconnected from relationships and people. Woes betide any man in your life who does not treat you as an equal. In fact, you’re not really one for putting up with any vanity or nonsense and so will choose the most down-to-earth man you can find. Finding balance for Artemis means allowing yourself to soften a little and let people in.

Hera

Do you know how to get people to listen and do as you say? Are you always pushing those around you to be the best? Do you like men with influence and power? If you are answering yes then you probably already know that you are channelling the Queenly Goddess of power, influence and social prestige – Hera.

You want a man who can offer you the kind of social position and community that you crave. Time wasters and drifters need not apply. You want to see your family achieve and expand, creating a strong structure around you – with you at the heart of it. Finding balance for Hera means to take the focus off the community and structures surrounding you and instead to focus on relating to your partner from the heart.

Persephone

Are you looking for someone sensitive and aware? Is love for you something mystical, beyond just two individuals? Do you want someone who will help to expand your soul? Soul searching is the realm of Persephone, Goddess of the underworld, the mystical and the departed. Persephone’s sensitivity and depth can mean that you have problems with boundaries and you may find yourself getting too enmeshed with your partner.

You could also be attracted to broken souls and may subject yourself to a lot of pain as you try to bring out the best in a man who may simply not be capable. Finding balance for Persephone will mean to learn to separate both yourself and your feelings from those of your partner (or desired partner) – to encourage individuality within the relationship.

Tips for Goddesses in, or finding, Love

The Goddess energies within will shift and change over time, demanding attention and understanding and challenging you in your relationships – and some may always remain stronger than others! My tips for finding healthy Goddess intimacy are:

1. BALANCE. It’s been mentioned plenty of times throughout this post – the best way for love to thrive is to keep an eye on each of these energies and work towards finding balance.

2. COMMUNICATION. Figure out what energies are at play and then communicate your needs to your partner (and if you are alone, to yourself). Simple but effective…

3. GROWTH. Choose a partner who is curious and up for working at a relationship. As these energies shift and change, you want a partner who is up for the adventure!

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About Helen Johnson | Goddess Acumen

At Goddess Acumen, I work with women who are feeling stressed, stuck, out of balance, and maybe a little lost or uninspired, 

Many women who come to me want to make positive changes in their lives, are going through transitions, or wish to release old ‘stuff’ that no longer serves them. I help them to find a greater sense of freedom, purpose and balance.

Please get in touch if you would like to discover tapping – a remarkably effective technique for releasing negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions – and unleash your Inner Goddess. If you mention Project Love, I will give you 25% off a Goddess Discovery Session.

How to kick start your journey of love...

When there is a big change that you want to see happen in your life then setting clear goals are incredibly powerful to help get you from where you are to where you need to be.

But when it comes to your love life, isn’t it a bit un-romantic to plan your future in this way?

Well think of it this way, how can you hit your target when you don’t know where you’re aiming?

Or to put it more eloquently:

“If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time”

— Zig Ziglar

Maybe goals are just dreams with deadlines?

And by setting deadlines, it helps to focus our energy in positive directions

So when it comes to love, what do you dream of, deep in your heart?

Is it a partner in life who you can have never-ending adventures with? Is it a partner that you can grow a family with? Is it a loving and healthy relationship that you feel both safe and free in?

Now daring to dream and getting clear on what it is you really want is incredibly important when bringing about a change in your life. However, you can have all the dreams in the world, but if you don’t act on them, how will you get to where you want to go?

Well consider goals to be your stepping stones to get there.

Ok, so how do you actually set those goals?

Well this exercise is one that we give to all of our clients when we start working with them.

Go through all of the different levels below and note down where you want to be at each stage. Dream big! It doesn’t matter if they sound wafty because big dreams can be broken down into smaller chunks. We’ll show you how…

Meet Lara, she’s 32, bit of a high flyer in her career, enjoying her success but the stress that comes from the job is starting to become unmanageable.  The sense of purpose that came through work just isn’t enough anymore and it now feels like something is missing. She knows something needs to change. She’s had a history of non-starter relationships and worries that she’s running out of time to meet someone, settle down and start a family…

Where do I want to be in 25 years?

I’ll be happily married with three kids, living in the countryside / by the sea. I’ll be working from home part-time with some side projects. My free time would be spent with my husband and kids, pursuing hobbies and seeing friends.

Where do I want to be in 5 years?

I’ll be married to my best friend – my partner in crime. We’ll be getting to grips with being new parents and enjoying the adventure. I’ll be working less hours and starting to wind down in my career. We would be thinking about moving out of the city for a less hectic life. We’d be in a good place financially

Where do I want to be in 1 year?

I’ll be with someone who really “gets me”. He shows me love and respect. The relationship is healthy and I’m incredibly happy. We don’t yet live together but I think it will happen soon. I’ll own my own place and work will be fulfilling and exciting.

Where do I want to be in 3 months (June)?

I’ll feel positive about my love life and that it’s not a matter of if I meet someone, it’s when. I’ll be enjoying dating and meeting people and I’ll be open to see who I’m attracted to. I’ll know what I want and I’ll feel confident to get out there and start attracting awesome men into my life.

Now the next part is the fun bit and it brings it all to life..

What can I do NOW to put the conditions in place (to get me where I need to be in June)?

I will make a commitment to myself to make love a priority. I will start to figure out how this self-love thing works! I will look at the ways in which I can focus on getting in the right mindset for love and working out what I want from a relationship.

What can I do to get those conditions set up as soon as possible?

I’ll go and find people who can help, coach and teach me about getting into the right mindset for love and all this self-love stuff. I’ll go and see what workshops, coaching programmes, talks etc are out there for women like me who are ready to do something about their love lives and I’ll choose one to attend in the next two weeks!

And that is how you take a dream, bring it out of the realm of fantasy and very much into the real world: by making goals and taking action.

Now as luck would have it for Lara, our Get Ready for Love workshop in London is coming up on the 17th March. A perfect way for her to get started on getting her love life on track!

So if, like Lara, you’re also feeling ready to kick start your journey of love then come and join us. All it takes is turning up next Tuesday evening with an open mind and heart.

We've designed the Get Ready for Love Workshop to share with you what we've discovered to be the most effective and powerful tools to help you get ready for love and transform your love life in 2015.

We can’t wait for this workshop and we’d absolutely love you to join us. To find out more about the workshop and book your place, head over here

And if you have any questions at all that you want to ask us about the workshop and what to expect from it, then shoot your questions over by replying to this email.

x Vicki and Selina

P.S. We might not be running this workshop again for a while so if you really want to come but you have something else on that date, then reschedule your other commitment and come join us!