EP 79: The day I married myself - with Donna Lancaster

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on iTunes), Spotify or wherever you enjoy listening to your podcasts

It’s Selina here 👋and oh I’m so excited for you to listen to today’s episode. It is with my greatest guide and teacher in life, Donna Lancaster - co-founder and facilitator of the incredible Bridge Retreat who is honestly the wisest, most powerful, loving and humble healer and transformational therapist I have ever met, so ANY conversation with her is going to be food for the soul, but this one in particular really inspired me (and you’ll hear why) because we were talking about the day, two years ago that Donna married herself. On her 50th birthday. With her best friend there as her witness.

SHE MARRIED HERSELF.

The ultimate act of self-love 😍😍😍

And so we talked about it all: what made her want to do it, what the ceremony was like, the vows and commitments she made to herself, how she knew a lot of people would roll their eyes at it and above all the difference it has made to her and the relationship with herself since saying ‘I do’.

As well as self marriage we talked about going through deep transformation in life, the suffering that is a necessary part of our development and growth and how to navigate those times of suffering so that you can get through to the other side where you’ll find peace, love, humility and all the good stuff.

We talked about why it is NOT in the interests of a capitalist society for us to love ourselves.

And of course we talked about witches 😉

So hit play, open your heart and ENJOY!

x Selina

P.S. The book Donna mentioned is ‘Falling Upward’ by Richard Rohr

Ep 78: Quarterly check-in and Goodbye 2019 Hello 2020 IS HERE!!!!

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on iTunes), Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts

It’s a new month annnnd a new season, which can only mean one thing… it’s time for a quarterly check-in!

In this weeks podcast episode, we invite you to join us and do your 3-monthly check-in with us ✨

Grab your Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journal (if you have one) and join us as we reflect on the past 3 months and share the progress that we’ve made and the lessons that we’ve learnt along the way. If you don’t have a Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journal then you can simply write down the questions as we go through them and do it with us 😍

🎉 Annnnd we have a very SPECIAL celebration because... <drum roll please>

The Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020 journal is now officially ON SALE! 🎉🎉🎉

We would LOVE to see the journal in your hands so please do share the love over on Instagram @loveprojectlove. And from now on you’ll start to see the Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020 journal appearing in high street shops throughout the UK! So when you see it in your favourite book or gift shop, please send us a pic so we can celebrate it!

So much love,

X Selina & Vicki

EP 77: Self-care and getting ready for the autumn season

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on iTunes), Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts

We have a fresh podcast episode for you today that is designed to make you feeeeel better.

Because today we are talking about SELF CARE 🧘🏾‍♀️🌿✨💛 and using the change in seasons here in the UK (and the rest of the northern hemisphere) as a chance to take stock, check-in with ourselves and see how we’re getting on with looking after our wellbeing on a daily basis AND how our self-care activities change with the seasons.

And so we invite you to join us and use this episode as a chance to check-in with your own self-care activities to see how you’re getting on!

Join us as we discuss:

• What each of our self-care activities are

• Our self-care hacks when life gets busy

• How not everyone suits having a daily self-care routine and that that is OK (phew!)

• How where you are on your menstrual cycle can really affect your energy and the self-care activities you are drawn to

• And what we are going to be adding to our wellbeing toolkit now that autumn is beginning here in the UK

Tune in, enjoy and come over to instagram to let us know what’s on YOUR wellbeing toolkit! @loveprojectlove

Self-celebration and creating a career you love with Sarah Powell

It’s Selina here 👋with this week’s podcast episode. And I cannot wait for you to hit play on this one, because I am joined by the Queen of Self-Celebration and all round joyous creature: Sarah Powell.

I have head-over-heels fallen in love with Sarah via her instagram stories (if you are on instagram and you don’t yet follow Sarah Powell on @thissarahpowell then go and do so immediately). She is hilarious, courageous, loving and inspiring.

She is one of those people that has created a career that is a total expression of who she is and what she loves in life.

She is a celebrant, founder of Celebrate Yourself (the first Celebrate Yourself Live event recently sold out in just 4 hours!), she is co-host of not one, but two hugely successful podcasts - Jules and Sarah and Wobble - both of which she does with her co-host Jules von Hep and she has a rapidly growing instagram community that she pours love into every day.

And yet just a few years ago Sarah was stuck in what she calls ‘the wilderness’ - that no-man’s land of not knowing what you want to do with your life and career, where you’re feeling totally lost and afraid that you’ll never figure it out. The place where everyone (yes everyone) begins their career change journey (or any big journey of transformation for that matter).

And so we talked about the power of self-celebration, finding humour in the mundane and how Sarah made her way out of the ‘wilderness’ to create a career that makes her heart sing and brings joy into the world.

This is such an inspiring episode and one that I guarantee will put a smile on your face!

Look at how much we were grinning by the end of it!

And if you felt like I was speaking to YOU at the start of the episode and you know that it is time for you to make your career change happen, then I would love to hear from you.

I am opening the doors to my 3 month 1:1 Career Change Coaching programme this month and as always will only be taking on a handful of clients.

And I would love for one of those clients to be YOU this time.

So if you’re ready to take the leap, come and book yourself in for a discovery call!

Let’s do this!

X Selina

EP 74: Upper limiting - are you getting in the way of living a life you love?

After taking a Summer break, WE ARE NOW BACK on the podcast and we have a brand new season of episodes lined up for you!

This week we are back with a bang as we discuss the ever so juicy topic of upper limiting and how we can get in the way of living a life that we love.

We share quite a few of our own personal insights on this one, as we reflect on a Summer of growth and expansion for ourselves and our business (working with the most phenomenal coach, Dr Tilean - check her out if you haven’t already).

💕 You can have a listen to the episode above or over on Apple Podcast or Spotify.

And listen right to the end as we reveal a big surprise celebration 🎉 something we have been working on behind the scenes and we hadn’t been able to share.. until now! 💃🏻

We loved recording this episode, we hope you enjoy it too.

Love, Vicki and Selina X

EP 73: A powerful conversation about race, racism and white privilege with Nova Reid

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

Selina here and I am SOOOO excited for you to listen to the podcast episode we have for you today.

I truly believe is one of the most important podcast episodes I have ever recorded.

I was joined by the amazing Nova Reid to dive deep into conversation about race, white privilege and what I can do as a white woman to play a proactive role in dismantling racism.

Nova Reid is a diversity campaigner, anti-racism educator and founder of Nu Bride and is passionate about helping people push through fear, lead by example and be the change they want to see in the world. And I am completely in love and in awe of her. Through her work she is hit by online racist attacks on a daily basis and yet she continues to meet the world with love, courage and an unwavering belief that we CAN be the change.

I’ve been doing Nova’s ‘White Privilege’ anti-racism course since December and I have found it to be SUCH a powerful course. I once felt totally powerless when it came to racism and inequality. I had no idea what, as a white person, I could do or was supposed to do.

Now with this course I know exactly what I can do. Nova has given me the tools and guidance to help me do real work. And wow, is the work deep and powerful.

I am now full of hope and excitement at what can happen if more and more white people stand up and do this work too. Which is what this episode is all about.

I can’t wait for you to tune in!

And if you are white, my invitation to you is to come and do Nova’s ‘White Privilege’ course. Let’s do this work together! And Nova, being the generous beauty that she is, is offering Project Love listeners a 15% discount if you sign up before 13th July.

>> SIGN UP TO THE ‘WHITE PRIVILEGE' ANTI-RACISM COURSE HERE

x Selina

EP: 71 Real love story interview with Lauren Leopold (Vicki’s former client!)

Vicki here! I have the most beautiful and inspiring real love story podcast for you today in celebration of me opening the doors to working with new love coaching clients this Summer. It’s really exciting to announce this to you for the first time in 3 years (where there has been a waiting list for love coaching since 2016!).

Tune in to listen to this weeks’ episode where you’ll hear Lauren’s beautiful love story and journey of self love and transformation.

Lauren wrote to me back in 2015 when her self esteem and confidence were at an all time low, feeling stuck in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. All around her were friends getting married and buying houses together and she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe it just wasn’t going to happen for her like it had for so many of her friends. She had convinced herself that she would always feel anxious around men, that she was hard to love and that she was unworthy of a loving relationship.

In 2016, I started working with Lauren and took her through the 3 month Get Ready for Love 121 coaching programme and I witnessed her grow and transform and open up to love in the most beautiful way. Over the course of the sessions, Lauren’s confidence started to grow, she started to get to know herself (and actually quite like herself!) and over time, she became available to the loving and secure relationship that she now knew that she deserved.

Cut to today and she has just returned from the most magical wedding in Devon where she married her best friend, surrounded by the people she loves most in the world.

Lauren’s story is such a wonderful example of someone who turned her love life around. It wasn’t easy and she faced a lot of fears along the way but she had the courage and the willingness to learn and grow and do the work and that was key to her transformation.

If Lauren’s story resonates with you and if you too dream of being in a loving and secure relationship then know that you can make that dream come true. Don’t give up on that dream or leave it up to fate or chance. With courage and the willingness to learn and grow, you too can change the course of your love life, just like Lauren did. I am so passionate about working with clients on the journey of getting ready for love and I can’t wait to hear from you if you are ready for that journey too!

If you would like to be one of the four new clients I am taking on this summer on my 3 month love coaching programme then head on over here to check out the programme. If it sounds like just what you need, then fill in the form to book in a discovery call with me - I have put aside time in my diary to talk to you next week (w/c 24th June).

I hope you enjoy the podcast!

Love, Vicki xx

Becoming a Brave New Girl | interview with Chloe Brotheridge

This week on the podcast Vicki interviewed Chloe Brotheridge, a clinical hypnotherapist and coach, anxiety expert, author of the bestselling and bloody brilliant, The Anxiety Solution and now the author of her brand new book, Brave New Girl (which is equally as brilliant!)

This book is so so good, like one big pep talk to encourage us all to be brave, step outside of our comfort zones and go after our dreams, while also being wrapped up in so much love and compassion. It was a joy to read and it’s jam packed full of powerful tools and techniques to help you to end people pleasing, discover the power of ‘no’ and become your most confident self.

Listen in to the episode to hear Vicki and Chloe talk about the importance of setting boundaries (to avoid resentment and burn out), perfectionism and what it means to have the courage to be imperfect, loneliness and the power of community, imposter syndrome, the importance of self-compassion and so much more!

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

To find out more about Chloe visit https://www.calmer-you.com/ and visit her on Instagram over here.

And you can buy a copy of her book over here!

X Selina & Vicki

PODCAST - Intuitive Living - interview with Pandora Paloma

This week on the podcast Selina interviewed Pandora Paloma, Intuitive Living Coach, Founder of ROOTED LIVING and author of her brand new book ‘Intuitive Living: 6 weeks to self-love, intuitive eating & reclaiming your mind-body connection’

It is SUCH a good book. So beautifully written - smart, wise, loving, just like Pandora 😍 and with seriously powerful exercises inside.  

In this episode Selina and Pandora dive deep into the topic of intuitive living and eating, how to tap into your intuition (liking yourself is key), why self-love really IS at the heart of it all and why Pandora now chooses body neutrality over body love.

To find out more about Pandora and her courses visit http://rootedliving.co/

And you can buy a copy of her book over here.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

With love,

X Selina and Vicki

PODCAST - The Power of Saying No (and why we struggle with it so damn much)

Ooh we can’t for you to listen to this week’s podcast as we discuss the juicy topic of saying NO and setting healthy boundaries.

We talked about:

• The reasons why this two letter word can cause us so much discomfort and struggle

• How our reluctance to say ‘no’ can be a cause for exhaustion and burn out (and resentment!)

• Why, particularly as women, we fear saying no so much

• How we can learn to say no, with love and kindness and set healthy boundaries for ourselves

• And much more!

We loved recording this one and we can’t wait for you to listen to it 💖

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

And if you’ve got questions or topics that you’d love to hear us talk about then please send them in to hello@loveprojectlove.com - there is nothing we love more than answering your questions!

With love,

X Selina and Vicki

PODCAST - A Life More Inspired - interview with Nicola Rae Wickham

This week on the podcast Selina had the most gorgeous and deep diving conversation with the wonderful Nicola Rae Wickham - the creative mentor, podcaster and founder of A Life More Inspired who helps women bring their dreams to life. If you aren’t yet following Nicola on Instagram, DO, she’ll bring so much joy and wisdom to your feed!

And this episode will truly bring a smile to your face. Nicola is just so full of love and laughter and brings a wonderful lightness to deeeeeep conversations and this episode is no exception. 

Together Selina and Nicola talked about…

• How Nicola got into the work she does today (because how DO you become a creative mentor that brings people’s dreams and creative businesses to life?!)

• Nicola’s own personal challenge of knowing how to ‘just be herself’ and what it was like 20 years ago in the workplace as a black woman feeling that she wasn’t allowed to be fully herself.

• How owning the parts of you that you feel shame around, helps you to own yourself fully and unlock parts of you that you couldn’t access before, like inner peace and joy.

• The brilliant event on ‘Wellness and Wealth’ that she put on recently at Reuters with the wonderful Tamu from Live Three Sixty

• And why we really do all need to start looking at wealth as a part of our overall wellness

Juicy juicy juicy! 

Oh and this episode was recorded literally days before Nicola gave birth (so it was done via Skype, rather than the studio).

Congratulations to you Nicola on your beautiful baby girl!

For more of Nicola’s love and wisdom head to her website and Instagram. 

x Vicki and Selina

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

PODCAST - 'Get Ready for Love' series | EP: 10 Are you feeling fed up and burnt out by dating?

If you are feeling fed up, emotionally fatigued and absolutely bloody exhausted by dating then you could be experiencing dating burnout.

And if you are, you’re not alone.

In fact, a study by anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher found that 54% of women currently feel exhausted by modern dating.

So why does dating leave so many of us feeling burnt out and what can you do when it happens to you?

Well we’ve dedicated our last Get Ready for Love episode in the series to this very topic.

Tune in to hear why dating burn out is so common and what to do to avoid it.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

X Vicki and Selina

P.S. Want to learn the three simple things you can do right away to maximise your chances of meeting the right kind of person for you? Then check out our free dating masterclass.

PODCAST - 'Get Ready for Love' series | EP: 9 Are you fed up of always attracting unavailable ones? Here is how to break that pattern

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

Do you seem to keep attracting (and being attracted to) the unavailable ones when it comes to dating? You know, the ones that seem all keen at the start, or all chatty when you’re first messaging and then, when things start to feel like they could get a bit more serious, all of a sudden they are super busy at work, they start saying they’re not sure they’re over their ex 🙄 or they just disappear off the scene with no explanation?

Then this episode is for you!

There is nothing more frustrating than starting to like someone only to find they weren’t really ready for an actual relationship 😤 so how do you avoid the unavailable ones? How do you spot them right from the start and how do you start attracting (and being attracted to) the available ones?

Hit play and find out!

X Vicki and Selina

Try our new Project Love Couples Check-in Tool

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

If you’re in a long term relationship do you ever feel like you get stuck in a bit of a rut sometimes of feeling like you’re more housemates than loving and attentive partners? Do you ever find yourself getting irritable and feeling frustrated that your partner isn’t giving you what you need or making you feel the way you want to feel in a relationship? Do you ever wish that there was a little more connection and love between the two of you?

Well congratulations! It means that you are human!

All of us, no matter how much we love our partner, will have times where they just don’t seem to be giving us what we need, where we only ever seem to have conversations about who is doing the dinner tonight and can you remember to pick up toilet paper on the way home.

Which is why taking the time to step back together from your busy lives and really focus and reconnect as a couple is absolutely vital to making love last.

But how do you do that?

Well, inspired by the Rewilding your Relationship couples retreat we did with Canopy and Stars back in 2018, we wanted to have a go at creating a tool for couples to use, to help them reconnect, address any issues bubbling under the surface and get the love flowing.

A tool that you can use whenever you need a bit of a relationship check-in.

So we teamed up with Canopy and Stars to do it, because honestly, there is nothing that supports and nurtures reconnection with yourself and your partner like being in nature and in beautiful relaxing, luxurious surroundings and that is what Canopy and Stars are all about (if you haven’t checked them out yet, come and feast your eyes on all the amazing glamping places you can stay over here, from treehouses, to yurts, to cabins, all nestled in beautiful natural surroundings, from woods to lakes to the sea).

We each went for two nights to a Canopy and Stars magical location (Vicki went to Ditchling Cabin and Selina went to The Treehouse at Harptree Court) and we tried out our couples check-in tool to see how it worked and WOW, the check-in combined with staying in the most amazing C&S places had such a powerful and long-lasting effect on both of us and our relationships.

Ditchliny Cabin

The Treehouse at Harptree Court

So in this episode we share what we learnt from using our Project Love Couples Check-in tool and the power of reconnecting with your partner in nature.

And now you can download the Project Love Couples Check-in Tool here and give it a go yourself!

And when you do, email us at hello@loveprojectlove.com and let us know how you got on.

And thank you to Canopy and Stars - we are officially obsessed and we will be back!

X Selina and Vicki

PODCAST: ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 8 How to navigate the absolute minefield that is texting while you’re dating (you’re welcome!..)

When it comes to dating, the whole question of when you should text, how much you should text, why haven’t they texted, what does that mean?! is a flipping minefield.

When I was dating I spent sooo many precious hours of my life worrying about what texts (or lack of texts) meant and how I should respond.

It was a big learning journey for me and one, I’m glad to say, I eventually figured out (and it wasn’t by learning any rules!).

So in today’s Get Ready for Love episode, Vicki gives us her top tips on how to navigate the texting minefield so that you can stop wasting precious hours of your life worrying about texts (or lack of texts too!)

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

X Vicki and Selina

P.S. If you’re feeling a bit meh about online dating and needing a shot of inspiration then come and join our free dating masterclass where you’ll learn the three simple things you can do right away to maximise your chances of meeting the right kind of person for you (plus so much more). And did we mention it is absolutely free? Watch it here.

The most BEAUTIFUL love story

We have the most moving, inspiring and utterly beautiful love story to share with you this week.

It’s the story of Syreeta Challinger and Rob Mackenzie, founders of Moments Of Sense & Style (MOSS), who are honestly one of the most inspiring couples you’ll ever meet.

Syreeta and Rob share their story of meeting in Hong Kong (where they both lived and worked), falling in love and how their whole world was turned upside down when Rob suffered a brain haemorrhage and stroke while they were on holiday in Sydney back in 2014.

They talk about love and loss, hope and strength, the healing powers of creativity and how this led them to create MOSS, a brand and business that aims to create light out of the darkness.

This is a story that illustrates the power of love like no other and a reminder that ‘no matter the struggle, there is always a way through’ (Syreeta’s beautiful words).

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

And be sure to visit their online shop MOSS and follow them on Instagram.

X Selina & Vicki

PODCAST: ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 7 ‘Isn’t finding love just down to fate?’

If there is even a small part of you that believes that maybe finding love really is just all down to fate, then you need to listen to today’s episode.

It could be that very belief that is stopping you from opening up and allowing love to find you.

It’s time to take finding love out of the hands of fate once and for all!

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

X Vicki and Selina

PS have you watched our Video Masterclass - ‘A Modern Approach to Finding Love’ yet? It is such a goodie and totally free! Head on over here and we’ll send it to your inbox straight away :)

Time to hit pause and reflect! How have the first 3 months of 2019 been for YOU?

We feel like a broken record saying this every year, but...how is it almost April already!?

Are you feeling that too?

It can be so easy for time to fly by and to get sucked into that never-ending to-do list until, before you know it, another year has passed by and those plans and intentions you made at the start of the year have all but been forgotten.

WELL NOT THIS YEAR.

We have made a commitment to organise a collective ‘HIT PAUSE’ every quarter, so we can each check-in with ourselves, review how the last 3 months have gone, how our commitments have come along and create fresh new commitments for the next three months that will help us each keep creating lives and relationships that we love, that make us feel good and make us proud.

And so on today’s Project Love podcast we are inviting you to join us for the first quarterly check-in of 2019!

Grab your Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journal, if you have one (you can still get your own copy over at thegoodbyehellojournal.com - while stocks last!) and join us as we reflect on the past 3 months, share the lessons that we’ve learnt in that time and create fresh new commitments for the next 3 months that help us realign ourselves with our intentions for the year and the life we dream of living.

And if you made commitments at the start of the year that you haven’t stuck to, then YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are always lessons to be found in the commitments that actually dropped off the list (which we talk all about in the podcast!)

>>> 🎧 Listen to the podcast now over on Apple Podcast (iTunes) or Spotify

And then join us over on Instagram to let us know what was the biggest lesson you learned from doing your own quarterly review!

X Selina & Vicki

PODCAST - ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 6 ‘Dating + Attachment | Q&A with Psychologist and Attachment style expert Helen Dent

So this week we have a very special guest on the GRFL podcast! Vicki interviewed Helen Dent, a clinical and forensic Psychologist, Attachment style expert and author of “Why Don't I Feel Good Enough?: Using Attachment Theory to Find a Solution” and we talked all about attachment styles and how our style can underlie our dating behaviours (and the dating behaviours of others). Here is a quiz where you can discover your style!

Vicki asked all of the questions that you sent in (thank you for those), including ‘how to spot the signs of emotionally unavailable men?’ and ‘how to recognise if you yourself are being emotionally unavailable?’. It was SUCH a fascinating conversation!

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

For more on attachment theory then check out ‘Using attachment theory to help our relationships to grow’, which is the podcast that Vicki also recorded with Helen.

We hope you enjoy the episode!

X Vicki and Selina

PS Psst have you watched our Video Masterclass - ‘A Modern Approach to Finding Love’ yet? It is such a goodie and totally free! Head on over here and we’ll send it to your inbox straight away :)

PODCAST - Using attachment theory to help our relationships to grow | Interview with Psychologist Helen Dent

For those of you that have been wanting more from us on how to thrive in your relationships (current or future) then this one is for you! In this week’s episode Vicki interviews Helen Dent, a clinical and forensic Psychologist, Attachment style expert and author of “Why Don't I Feel Good Enough?: Using Attachment Theory to Find a Solution”.

It was SUCH a fascinating conversation!

Tune in to hear us talk about:

• What attachment theory actually is and how we can use it as a practical tool to help ourselves and our relationships to grow

• What the three main attachment styles are (anxious, avoidant, secure) and how we can develop a ‘secure base’ in our relationships (and not just in our romantic relationships but also in our friendships and even with our pets!)

• How we develop a blueprint for a relationship and how the relationships that we have throughout our lives can influence our attachment style (here is a quiz where you can discover yours)

• The difference between healthy dependency and codependency in relationships

• How we can manage relationship challenges when we have opposing attachment styles to our partner!

• Why we are more likely to come across avoidant attachers when we are dating

• And how we can consciously work towards becoming more secure in our relationships

 🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

x Selina & Vicki

We can’t wait for you to listen to the episode!

x Selina & Vicki

PS we have a dating and attachment style podcast on the way on Sunday, register here to be the first to hear about it when it’s released (and you’ll also receive a dating masterclass video which is absolutely free!)